Can we all agree once and for all that Tim Kring is the most trite writer of all time? He’s an excellent creator of television programming, but when it comes to his ability to write dialogue that is honest or organic, he wields his pen with the skill of a no-armed rhesus monkey. I don’t think Heroes can ever reach its full potential as long as those Disney-esque emotions are being shoved down our throats, but that being said, Heroes appears to be on the up and up. Let’s take a looksie:
1. Micah/Micah’s cousins — Micah is a sweet kid. So why are they making him look like an idiot by giving him a mullet full of gheri curls? Doesn’t he have friends or parents in real life? No one thinks to tell him he looks absolutely ridiculous? It’s like he’s wearing a wig of Vaseline-soaked pubic hair. And his male cousin? Worst new character on the show. He’s not funny, though Kring obviously thinks he is. He’s just sort of a jerk– it’s like the way Southeast was introduced– you can tell Kring wants us to like the character, but the writing is so bad, that the character just comes off as a huge douche.
And don’t get me started on the female cousin. Cute? Yes. Charismatic? Yes. 100% cliche? Absolutely. Give me a break with that Katrina footage. This is a show where PEOPLE CAN FLY, but they have to ground it in the realism of post-Katrina New Orleans? Nothing else on the show has ever had anything else to do with the real world. Why start now, with this heavy-handed, contrived emotional bullshit? Not only was this super groan-worthy (tell me there’s one of you out there who didn’t groan at those Katrina shots), but I think it ruined a lot of the magic of the show. Am I supposed to think George Bush is the president now? Is Claire going to start using an I-phone and talking about Chuck? Am I supposed to expect other moments to ripped from the headlines? I think Kring has opened a stupid, unnecessary can of worms here. Fantasy shows like Heroes are supposed to take place in some alternate reality– you can’t just decide midway through season 2 that it actually takes place in the realistic present. Furthermore, this choice is another move that shows Kring once again underestimates the intelligence of his viewers. We’ve been dealing with hastened conclusions and cliches all season long, and now we’re just supposed to accept that this show has been taking place in the real-world present all along? I hate you, Tim Kring. I hate you!
And oh yeah, that power of Monica’s, to repeat what she sees on television? Not bad. Hope it gets explored a bit more in the next episode. She needs to go watch some Kung Fu videos and become a badass ninja.
2. Nikki/Peter/Ando/Hiro/Kensei– … (at least we didn’t have to watch Hiro whine in Japanese for an hour. The one character I’m glad was not in the episode).
3. Claire/HRG/East — Booooooooooooring. How many more romantic flights through the sky are we talking about here? 2,3? You gotta let me know, so I know how many barf bags I need to pick up from the “Good God This Is Awful” Store. Let’s get to the part where HRG gets shot in the face!
4. Maya/Alejandro/Sylar — Finally! This show is never as good when heroes are off on their own self-contained stories. Things only get juicy when characters come together, as they did here. I have no idea what’s going to happen. We’re still not clear on what Sylar’s deal is. Does he have his ability? What does that ticking sound truly indicate? How come Candace’s power didn’t take? Is he planning on helping M & A, or killing them? At least give Alejandro some props for being skeptical. This should be a very interesting storyline and I’m actually looking forward to seeing how it plays out. Also, did you guys notice the cockroach around dead Derek’s head? That’s the third Sylar related cockroach we’ve seen (1- in his cell when HRG captures him in Season 1; 2- around the manhole when he disappears in the season 1 finale)– I have a feeling the significance of those bugs will be coming out sooner rather than later…
5. Matt/Nathan/Molly — The real meat of the episode. We now have a photo of all the old generation of Heroes, and some shocking new information. 1) All those old-timers had powers. We know Linderman’s and King Midas’. What about the 2 Petrellis, Papa Nakamura, Charles Deveaux, Papa Parkman? I’m super excited to find out about that. Plus, we now have Molly creepily trapped in her own brain. How did this happen? Why? How can she be saved? What is Papa Parkman’s power, that he can haunt Molly and trap her in her own mind? It’s nice to have some truly high stakes for once and obviously, this was the most dramatic and compelling aspect of the episode. Ooo, also, what’s the deal with those crazy burned faces Nathan sees in the mirror? We’re getting close to episode 8 (“Four Months Ago”, when all shall be revealed!) and I can’t wait to see what happens.
Some other observations:
-No way Parkman’s baby isn’t his. Not only is it his baby, but it’s going to have a super power. Guaranteed.
-Kristin Bell on Heroes! I can’t decide if it’s awesome or awful. Will I be able to separate Bell from her alter-ego Veronica Mars? Or will I be stuck viewing her new character as a lame replacement for my favorite teen P.I.? Either way, she’s hot, sassy and smart, and I guess any Kristin Bell is better than no Kristin Bell. In either case, we’ll find out for sure next week!
-Nikki has had one scene in 4 episodes. Is she that unimportant? How did she go from main character to afterthought?
-If Hiro doesn’t leave Japan in the next episode, I will cry tears of anger and resentment.
Bottom Line: When the characters interact and intersect, the show is cooking. When they’re all off doing their own thing, it couldn’t be more boring. We’re up to like 25 main characters now, and Kring seems to be very, very against killing anyone off (the only legit death has been Isaac’s). Are we really going to be juggling 10 storylines every episode? How long can we wait for Claire while she’s off by herself in California? What about Peter or Hiro? I don’t think this show can ever be at its best until these narratives join together, the stakes get raised, and heroes start interacting. Remember, this “2nd volume” of Heroes, “Generations,” is only lasting half the season. The 2nd half of the season is a whole new volume. We’re on episode 5 now, meaning we’re almost halfway done with Volume Two. How long can they jerk us a round here before they get to the meat of the plot? 4 episodes is plenty of set-up. Let’s get on with it, shall we?
Grade: B-
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while i have nothing against kristin bell (never watched veronica mars), i associate her with that show and am kind of pissed that heroes is trying to bring someone who has already been established on another tv show to heroes. part of what i like was that i don’t associate most of the actors with something else (yes i know alli larter is pretty well known and the kid who plays micah was on my wife and kids…which does not count as well known..). anyway, you get my point. but i thought it was cool that parkman’s dad was the awful scary bad man.
Although the Nikki/Jessica story doesn’t seem very important at this point, I was under the impression that Ali Larter’s character would be out of the plot line for a while. Wasn’t there a scene when we saw her at “the company” being tested and experimented on? I thought that meant she would be MIA for at least a bit…maybe that wasn’t the correct assumption?
Thanks for another great post, Maves.
I heard an interesting theory about the Hiro storyline.
What if Hiro is the Dragon from the Kensei legend?
It could lead to an interesting end to the storyline…
One at a time:
1. Deb– thanks for commenting! Agree about Parkman’s dad, but that was way out of left field. We need more characters at this point?! I almost always associate actors with their previous work (as you can always tell on this blog, such as my refusal to refer to David Anders as anything but Sark), and it usually doesn’t get in the way. But VMars was so iconic, so unique, I wonder if every other role she plays will pale by comparison.
2. Izzy — you made that up. Thanks for commenting, but that never happened. Good try though.
3. Dave — thanks for commenting. Hiro as a dragon? Could be, but I don’t see it. Maybe its the glasses?
(hey i meant to post that comment here–not on the other post)
hey maven,
I want to redeem myself, I hope its not too late. Alright–you’re right–there was no scene with Nikki getting experimented on by the company–but it is IMPLIED (i guess i just have a pretty vivid imagination) in the last few minutes of episode 3, that Nikki is going to “the company” to get cured (perhaps she has the same virus that the Haitian had?). The scene takes place during a phone call between Nikki and Bob. Bob says they’ll help her in exchange for something, but we don’t know what that thing is yet. That’s where I got the impression that she would be MIA for a while. Better?
-Belle
I don’t normally mind the cheesy dialogue, but I did mind it with the Claire/West thing, because seriously, even One Tree Hill has better-written flirtations than that, and sitting on the Hollywood sign is the least original first-date idea ever. Totally agree with you that the set-up for this season is being way too drawn-out, although we’re starting to see the storylines interact more, so that’s ever-so-faintly a positive sign.
But if you’re right that there’s a cockroach storyline coming up, I’m outta here!
Ok Izzy, you’re redeemed. And Kristen, I don’t think it’s a “cockroach storyline” per say; I meant that the significance of said roaches will be illuminated in the coming weeks. No need to fear an infestation on Heroes!
And ya, I’d rather watch One Tree Hill than that ridiculous Hollywood sign garbage. Oh brother…
A better explanation of the Hiro/Dragon theory…
The following is from the Sword Saint video mockumentary summarized at heroeswiki.com/Yamagatofellowship.org with my comments in parentheses:
Chapter 4, Part 1and 2: Kensei and the Dragon
…The Dragon taught Kensei and made him a “sword saint,” (Hiro forces Kensei to be the hero of legend) … After Kensei’s trials, he and the princess decided to marry, but the celebrations were short-lived—the enormous Dragon interrupted their marriage ceremony and demanded the princess. To protect his love, Kensei plunged his sword into his heart, then offered his heart to the Dragon. Though Kensei died in the arms of his love, exactly what happened next to him remains a mystery. Legend says that the Dragon, moved by Kensei’s love and honor, replaced Kensei’s heart and brought him back to life… (Hiro confronts Kensei about his feelings for Yaeko and they fight/argue about it, which results in Kensei’s injury and subsequent healing)
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce