As I mentioned in my previous explanation, I’m going to be making a real effort to post consistently in spite of my busy schedule. To this end, I’ve decided to introduce a new type of post to MMM: Media Maven’s Morsel, a tidbit of information or a distilled review that will allow me to post about important media events with regularity without requiring a full in-depth (and more time consuming) analysis. And so, without further ado (is there any other turn of phrase I can use instead of always relying on that one?), the inaugural Media Maven’s Morsel:
The reviews for Speed Racer, the Wachowski Brother’s much anticipated follow-up to their Matrix films, have been mostly bad, and I’m here to report that the reviews have been, sadly, spot-on. The film’s first thirty minutes, where the film cuts back and forth between Speed Racer’s first big race and flashbacks to Speed’s childhood with his older brother Rex (played perfectly by Scott Porter a.k.a. Jason Street on NBC’s Friday Night Lights), are terrific and all the race sequences are awesome. But the other 70 minutes (the film clocks in at 135 minutes!) are complete and utter drivel. We’re not even talking CBS sitcom drivel. No, no. We are talking about a dogpile of cliches, contrived emotions, inexplicable plot points and terrible physical comedy involving a small child and a monkey so awful, so laughable, that it honestly makes me wonder if anyone at Warner Bros actually screened the movie or read the script before they shot it. Seriously.
American moviegoers have also been spot-on this weekend, as Iron Man remains at #1 at the box office, while Speed Racer was only able to pull in $20 million, a near disastrous opening for a film that cost somewhere around $150 mil. If you’re above the age of 30, do not even attempt to see this film, as it will likely give you a stroke and/or kill you. If you’re under 30, the film is worth seeing if you’re a fan of CGI action sequences and can ignore the horribly written dialogue enough to allow yourself to enjoy the movie’s worthwhile aspects.
Grade: C+
With all the respect for your busy schedule, I’d like to require a favor from you.
Can you fix my ‘need for a good Lost review’ addiction? I’m more troubled then ever with my favorite show and without anyone around here to give some sharp thoughts on a lot of Lost related subjects, I become truly desperate.
Don’t let this give you a headache…:)
You’re right about Speedraces, except for the fact that someone even might like this movie. No one will. Maybe if you’re younger then 10, but hell, this couldn’t be the aim of the Matrix-Brothers…
Definitely keep up the Morsels… great move.
Thanks for the comments, fellas– I need this kind of feedback from my readers.
Ivar– I hear you loud and clear. There’s no way I’ll miss posting about Lost’s next three episodes– its a three part episode, ending with May 29th’s two-hour season finale! It’s going to be wild!
As for Speed, I did enjoy parts, so there are some people out there who I could see liking it, but they have to be the kind of people who won’t let terrible dialogue and sappy family scenes ruin a fun, action-filled movie for them.
lost! lost! lost!
i watched this movie with you.
and it really sucked